My Story

I always knew something was missing from my life, an emptiness that I couldn’t explain. When I was younger I tried to fill the emptiness with many things. I tried to fill it by buying the right clothes, saying the right things, making people laugh and going to all the parties. I was popular and empty.

I tried to fill the emptiness through athletics. I worked hard at becoming a good football player. I worked hard to be a good basketball player. I worked hard at throwing the Javelin. I won a state championship in the Javelin and threw for four years in college. I became a good athlete and I was empty.

School never mattered much to me. It was much more social than academic when I was younger. In High School, I decided to take learning much more seriously. I became a straight ‘A’ student. I wrote lengthy computer programs and was praised for my efforts. I realized how powerful learning could be. I also realized I was still empty inside.

As I matured, I focused on being successful. I made a long term goal to own my own business. My whole life was focused on working hard and saving money to attain my goal. I had tunnel vision – surely this would fill the emptiness. I saved the money, wrote a business plan, worked out recipes, obtained additional financing, bought a building, gathered and installed equipment, hired and trained employees, put up signage and produced promotional materials. I went through all the steps to realize “the American dream”. I would call my own shots, not have to answer to anyone, this would be my ticket to security and a life without emptiness. Well, not quite.

I opened Bread Poets in September of 1998. Three days later, my oven broke down and I had an emergency appendectomy. I realized right away that all my efforts were fleeting. That owning a business is about the least secure thing a person can do. That you don’t have to answer to anyone but, if you want to be open tomorrow, you must answer to everyone. You must answer to customers, employees, suppliers and the government! I recognized how all my efforts and hard work could easily be wiped away by things that I had no ability to control. I was a business owner. Check that goal off the list. I was still empty.

I met a wonderful woman when I moved back to Bismarck to start my business. She brought a whole new meaning to my life. She sat with me in the hospital after my appendix came out. She certainly made me feel much less empty. I fell in love with her and asked her to marry me. She nodded her head (I would have preferred a simple “yes”). She did say “I do” at the wedding, for which I am grateful! Our relationship made me feel whole. As wonderful as it was, it didn’t meet my deepest need. I could still sense an emptiness – but at least it was more distant than it was before. I was by all accounts, happy. As time passed, I became happily “empty”. I was happy but depressed. I recognized that all these things I pursued, even the closest human relationship I could know, were temporary and finite.

When we had our first child, I was in awe. For the first time God was real to me – the process was so obviously a miracle. I recognized the miracle of life and at the same time my own mortality. That was the emptiness – this life isn’t forever. I yearned for something more, something infinite.

I recognized my need. I realized that I needed an answer to that need or nothing would ever make sense. I grew up going to church and had knowledge of Jesus. I knew Jesus was perfect. I felt God wanted me to be perfect. I knew I was far from perfect, in fact I continually sinned. I knew I could never be perfect - I didn’t have it in me. I didn’t realize it but the Holy Spirit had convicted me of the truth, I was a sinner.

God was patient with me and through His grace I recognized what Jesus was all about. He is God’s provision to make us perfect, In Christ. Jesus took care of sin once and for all so we wouldn’t have to be separated from God. Jesus offered something that I needed – everlasting life! “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in me has everlasting life” John 6:47.

I believed in Jesus for what he promised – “And this is the promise that He has promised us, eternal life” 1 John 2:25. Everlasting (eternal) life is the only kind of life God offers us. It does not end, it is ever-lasting. If I could lose it then He would have given me temporary life. Everlasting life is infinite! It is the security I yearned for and the only thing that could meet my deepest need.

I am no longer empty - in fact I am completely full! More than that, I will never feel empty again! You too can have everlasting life. Jesus died for the sins of the whole world, yours included. Jesus removed this barrier, sin, so you would be free to accept His gift. This is a gift born out of love for you! “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” John 3:16

Many people can’t believe I make a living selling bread. But, it’s true, I do! I stay in business because people eat my bread and it satisfies them temporarily. It fills a need, temporarily. Then they get hungry, come back, and buy more bread! That’s good news for me and my business! We sell bread, like manna, that sustains earthly life.

Jesus called himself the bread of life. He said in John 6:47-50 “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me has everlasting life. I am the bread of life. Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and are dead. This is the bread which comes down from heaven, that one may eat of it and not die”. Jesus sustains us eternally through giving us everlasting life! That is truly good news – not just for me – but for everyone who believes in Jesus Christ for what he offers, ever-lasting life!